WhatEVER....Squared

  I’ve been on a technological hiatus of sorts for the past few weeks while I just spend as much time with the kids as I can during the summer. There’s been a noticeable and surprisingly painless reduction of time blogging, Facebooking and tweeting. The blogging and tweeting is relatively new and not hard to put aside but the lack of Facebooking is HUGE for me. Especially given the fact that I’m a Facebookaholic and all. Instead we’ve been spending our days swimming, pretending to be dragons, dancing the nights away with glow sticks, running around like wild banshees, cleaning like indentured servants, watching movies for only $1 at the theater, and hanging out with friends. Typical summer stuff that will stick in all of our brains as some of the best days ever.

  Matter of fact we’ve (and by we I mean I’ve) been so oblivious to everything else that it just hit me that Emery’s second birthday is on Saturday and that the fourth of July is only two weeks away. Emery’s birthday will most likely be a low key family affair, other than my semi mental breakdown over the realization that our household is about to be baby-less for the first time in five years. Sigh. The ending of an era and all that jazz. Whatever.

  Skipping ahead…. July 4^th is always kinda a big deal to us in a very relaxed, small town way. And while I really look forward to all the traditional things that we do every year on the 4th it always seems like the school year starts only a blink after the firework show is done. Things might be a little different this year because Jerry’s new job doesn’t give him the leniency in his work schedule that we’ve enjoyed in years past for fun family days like the 4^th. Chances are he will have to work for at least part of the day and will miss out on going to the parade with us. So just a quick recap: ending of an era and a break in family traditions. Whatever squared.

Her kung fu is strong.

Trampoline fun with Caleb and Ella

Kayley blowing bubbles

Splash!

Emery clutching her drink and stumbling around

 like an angry drunk with her mismatched shoes,

doggy, too small swim cover up, and a disgruntled look.

Ella at the park

Fess Up Friday

1. I'm attempting to learn how to be more computer code savvy. Considering that I'm positive that computer code was initially scripted by aliens and I'm a self taught student from the school of Google this could be a lengthy process.

2. What started out as a small missing sock pile has grown over time into a laundry hamper full of ALL of the kids socks making Search and Rescue missions necessary on those random summer days when socks are needed. I blame the magical dryer that steals socks and repays me in extra dryer sheets.

3. My oldest child (Kayley) is really my step-daughter but I've been her Momma and loved her with my whole heart since she was 2. I am hers and she is mine. Stuck like glue we are.

Parenting 101

Below are some random musings on parenting in general for you to enjoy or mock. Your call. Either way my list is sure to grow regardless.

Parenting 101

• The best time to engage the child door lock is before you even bring that precious bundle of joy home from the hospital. Otherwise you chance forgetting about it until a year later when all the sudden you hear the thump of a handle being pulled while your driving 70 mph down the hwy.
• Daughters on the brink of puberty don’t have the willpower to refrain from spraying half a bottle of perfume on themselves. Save yourself the agony and monitor their perfume application much like you would a narcotic cough syrup that is locked away and dispensed under heavy supervision. (This is probably true for boys who have begun to discover girls, but I’ve got a few more years until I can test that theory out)
• When in doubt on any aspect of caring for a child think of how you would deal with it if you were caring for your pet, a drunk, or the elderly. Chances are the answer will come to you.
• Magic Erasers are your best friend.
• If your child is one of those kids that throws fits in public when they don’t get their way and you either lack the capability or the desire to keep them under control then do everyone a favor and keep them at home. And then make sure you use birth control and are saving away bail money for future arrests. Cause one of y’all are getting locked up eventually.
• The best time to introduce your child to vegetables and healthy eating is from their very first bites of solid foods. And if you one day you find yourself arguing with your offspring about the merits of eating vegetables just remember who’s the boss and take away all unhealthy snacks until they begin to eat their veggies. Or dress them in baggier, too large clothing the next day and tell them they must be shrinking from not eating their veggies. Whichever works best for you.
• You can never take too many pictures of your children. Ever.
• When debating on whether or not to take your child to the hospital for a mysterious illness, or minor injury a good google search can be immeasurably helpful in helping you make the final decision. Clicking on the images tab though will result in a trip to the ER every time.
• Never underestimate the power of a good bribe. Or a reward based incentive  as I like to call them.
• Kids, much like dogs, can smell fear. Never show fear.
• You should always be your child’s biggest advocate. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your child against others. Especially at Wal-Mart.
• Always check for soccer and baseball cleats at a good consignment store first. Chances are they have some in like new condition since kids feet grow so fast and you can save you some of your hard earned money.
• Keeping your children involved in a sport of some sort will teach them invaluable lessons in character, sportsmanship, and will give them a sense of community. Meanwhile you can bask in the fellowship of the other parents on the sidelines. Its like soccer with a side of therapy!
• When planning a family outing in a crowded place adopt field trip rules complete with a buddy system and coordinating outfits. That way it’s easier to pick your child out in a crowd AND they photograph better. SCORE!
• Clean out where your children sit in the car frequently and well. Or be prepared to consult with the CDC on what type of fungus is growing beneath their car seat.
• Please, for the love of all that’s holy, always buckle your children into the proper car seat, booster seat, or seat belt. If you’re an idiot who doesn’t buckle, that’s on you. They at least deserve a chance to survive if a wreck should happen.
• When it comes to parenting (and life in general) you should always say what you mean and mean what you say.
• At some point in life your child will be smarter than you. It's called evolotion. And you will probably curl into a ball and cry when that day comes.
• Having the number for a good therapist WILL come in handy at some point in one of your lives. Better to research them now and save the number away then to wait for later when alcohol will likely be a factor in your decision making process.

A hypocritical mess

Uploading and editing pictures from my “best day EVER” (that 's a direct quote from the kids, but they say that at least a few times a week so take it with a grain of salt) with the kiddo’s today has made a few things abundantly clear to me. One, my children are ridiculously cute. Gobble ‘em up, squeeze ‘em tight, photograph ‘em often cute. I love how much of their personality shines through in pictures almost as much as I love how they all look so much alike and yet different at the same time.

 Two, they are growing at a ridiculous rate. I look at each one of them and I remember the babies that they were and I wonder how I blinked my eyes and now I’m not cuddling sweet, tiny helpless babies anymore. Now I’m watching these children so full of potential, personality and  their own idea's run around by themselves with sure feet that no longer need me there to guide them.

 It seems like only minutes ago that our entire life was dictated by what time they needed to eat and nap,making sure they had pooped recently, and packing half of our house into the diaper bag just to go pick up a gallon of milk. It was during those sleep deprived days that Jerry and I began a game that we play to this day. It’s our very own version of chicken but instead of waiting to see who will swerve first it’s a battle to see who can pretend to sleep for the longest amount of time before the other gives into the battle cries being issued from the crib. It's a hardcore battle of wills and takes alot of practice to perfect. Bonus points are issued if you can be so convincing that the loser thinks that you truly slept through the screaming banshees down the hall, for all you other parent's out there looking to play along at home on your own. You know you wanna, with a sweet prize like 5 more minutes of sleep on the line.

 I still remember that unique baby smell that lingered in the air for so long here, and how the tiny creases in their necks had the perpetual smell of slightly sour milk and baby lotion. Highly addictive stuff, that baby neck smell. Part of the reason we have four kids is because of that smell. All you non-breeders can gag all you want, one day if you’re lucky enough you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. When you find yourselves sniffing your child’s neck like a crack head getting their first fix of the day you’ll be all oh, that’s what she meant. It’ll be a lightbulb moment, or an “aha moment” for all you Oprah fans out there.  

 I remember laying in bed at night imagining what it would be like the first time they came running into our room to climb into bed with us, what the pitter patter of those tiny feet would sound like.  Trying to envision what they would look like when the chubbiness of babyhood had started to wane, what they would sound like when baby gurgles became baby chatter, and what kind of children would they grow to be.  Even my best dreams could have never hinted at just how amazingly awesome each of them would become.

 Right now its like they’ve got the whole wide world in the palm of their hands and they know it. They know they can do anything, be anything, go anywhere and do everything. They have dreams and aspirations and the world is their oyster. I see them absorbing life and learning and growing and I’m humbled. They are everything that is good and perfect in this world and in a way I want to become the best kind of parent and the worst all at the same time.

 I want to encourage them to venture out and make their own path and yet keep them chained to my side. I want them to learn and yet keep them ignorant so that I’m still the smartest person in the world to them. They should play with others, yet never forget about me. I want them to stay all night in their beds but still spend plenty of time cuddling with me. I want them to sing their own songs but still wait for me to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” at bedtime. They should pray on their own but still recite the Lord’s Prayer with us.  Basically, I’m a hypocritical mess.

 I was never one of those women who felt my biological clock ticking or pressure to have children. But damn if I don’t hear that clock ticking away each second of their childhood loud and clear. Each little tick is a transition that I’m not sure I’m ready for. Each day is an adventure with them and I wake up each morning loving them more than I did the night before as impossible as that seems. I know that I should look forward to how much more is still to come and I do. Believe me I do. And I cant wait to get there, I just wish it would come a little slower. A lot slower. I want to stretch each minute out to its limit and breathe my time with them in. Because no matter how long it is it’ll never be enough.

Brotherly love



  



Fess Up Friday

Each week on my Facebook page (the personal one, not the photography one) I fess up to three random facts/quirks of my life. I do that for a few reasons. In part because there is so much more to me than most people in my life will ever realize, me being the introvert that I am, but I also do it because I think the world would be a better place if we all shared pieces of ourselves (for better or worse) with each other. I think we would all be amazed at just how much we have in common with each other that stays hidden away inside for whatever reason.

There are a few friends of mine who are no longer on Facebook but are aware of my Friday postings and they asked if I would also include my Fess Up Friday's on my blog as well. Ask and ye shall receive! Here's what I'm fessing up to this Friday:

1. Amongst the rules that children are taught growing up shoud be YE SHALL ALWAYS REPLACE THE EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL YOU CONSUME. I am currently imparting that life lesson on my children who are struggling with that concept much like their father occasionally has.

 2. My age seems to dictate the amount of time I talk on the phone. As I age my talking time decreases while my texting increases.

3.I have always kept my children on a schedule. Not a strict militant minute by minute regiment but an orderly flow of sequenced events that gives them comfort and security in knowing what comes next. From birth their days have been mapped out in a predictible pattern and I truly believe that has played a part in them being the smart, confident, well-behaved children that they are.

Little Miss Smarty Pants

Ella's John Hancock

    

    Impressive for a three year old. And sadly, it's probably more legible then Mommy's. We've spent several days this week coloring and after watching her big brother Caleb write his name on his pictures she wanted to be able to do the same. So I wrote her name once for her at the top of the page and instantly she took to it like a duck to water.

    Without any help from moi she was able to write her name all by herself. I wish I could take more credit for teaching her a developmental milestone but really it was all her and that genius brain of hers. Her head measurements from birth have always registered in the 95th percentile which for the first 18 months or so gave a bobble head effect of sorts to her. I always knew she would grow into the head but I could've never guessed at just how smart she would be. The bigger the head the bigger the brain I say.

   

    The art form of writing is almost extinct in this day in age. When I recently came across an old binder full of notes I had taken for a class in college I couldn’t help but marvel at my beautiful handwriting. It was pretty and loopy and most of all legible. Less than a decade later and anything I scrawl on paper is most times indecipherable even to me.

    I'm so proud of her and all of her accomplishments but I can't help but wonder if she shouldn't be learning how to type and generate computer code instead. Given that Ella has aspirations of world domination I'm sure that she'll Facebooking, blogging and twittering any day now. Keep a lookout for @TheWorldIsMine and stay abreast of her quest to rule the world. It's sure to be soon.