June 7, 2011

Best Birth Control EVER

    When I was still up at 1:30 this morning a few things were running through my mind. Like how I’d only have 7 hours (at best) to sleep, what to cook for dinner tonight without using the oven considering I’m pretty sure  confident I could just cook off solar power outside being that the sun is like 200 feet from my window and all. And then I thought about what I would post on here today. Something witty, endearing and full of pictures I thought. Something that would make a memorable impression and keep people coming back for more. Well it’ll be memorable, of that I’m sure but as for the rest? Yeah, I'll let you decide about that. Beware that it’s not for the faint of heart or those who are actively trying to conceive a child.

     You would think that after four kids I would have this whole parenting thing down pat, and that not much could surprise me. WRONG. When it comes to Emery my handy dandy, one size fits all parenting mold has been shattered and thrown out the window.  What happened when I heard a cheerful Emery calling for me after waking up from naptime has happened before. Jailor’s around the world deal with this daily, and at the time of THE OCCURANCE Emery was indeed in a jail of sorts. You see, my beautiful, delicate, precious baby girl became a rebel without a cause during naptime. Trapped behind bars, she apparently had enough of conforming to the demands of a diaper and decided to take matters into her own hands. By removing her diaper at some point after waking up and then taking care of all (and I do mean ALL) of her potty business. Sans diaper. Oh the horror!

     As you can imagine I’ve excluded the planned pictures for today. You can thank me later.  They don’t make a disinfectant strong enough to erase the grossness of the scene of that crime. I know Emer’s loves bath time and all but COME ON. That is such a party foul. And while I’m sure you would have gone about your day blissfully ignorant of the goings on here at casa Medrano I’m sharing this with you anyway. Partly to be your therapist and encourage you to realize that whatever crap you’ve dealt with today, at least it wasn’t this crap. Literally.  And also because if Emery keeps evolving along the same path that she has for these first two years of her life I’m going to need this sort of documentation sooner rather then later. I can see it now. “I said NO Emery you cannot go incite a riot at the pre-school, I don’t care WHAT she said that made you mad. Don’t make me read your friends the story of what you did that time in your crib. Better yet, how about I give their mothers my blog address and let them see what they're getting into by inviting you over to play.” Hmm, maybe I should take pictures next time…


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